2 months on Strattera/Atomoxetine

May 2, 2026

I was on atomoxetine when I was 19 years old and within a week it gave me severe heart palpitations to the point where I had to stop.

I have autism and ADHD. My focus is functional enough to hold down a job. But recently autistic burnout left me extremely disabled and I couldn't read anymore or exist. After I was somewhat okay enough I realised focus was not something I could do anymore and a month passed, another month passed, then I knew there is something severely chemically wrong.

I saw a psychiatrist for the first time in 3 years.

Because I'd tried atomoxetine before, I was recommended to try it again with some beta blockers to bring heart palpitations under control.

I believed in my doctor and I started with 10mg atomoxetine. The first day was amazing, I felt refreshed. I was sweating a lot but it was fully worth the focus I experienced that was almost foreign to me. I was not very hungry and i sat down and I didn't think of anything but what was in front of me. The noises in my head were so less it was almost non existent. My reality was in sync with what was on my mind instead of being bombarded with random chores, guilt and song repeats.
I did not know this was a reality for someone like me. This beta blocker making this drug accessible to me was truly wonderous for me. I couldn't believe I could open a new tab and go back to my work, no matter how many times I got distracted the main thread never fully trailed off. Priorities continued to exist on my mind the whole day, especially when I trailed away on side quests.
After a week of this, the effects were wearing off, I was forgetting priorities. Good thing I was supposed to go up to a 60mg dose. There was still hope. I up my dose at the ten day mark. I got a bit cocky with the beta blocker and stopped taking it a few days into it, on 10mg it was fine. But at nearly double the dose, my heart was going dakdakdakdak and I felt like there were electric waves going up my spine. Immediate crash and burn for 2 days. I did nothing but sleep on this. After 48 hours it got better, I was back to productivity, after a few days I felt powerful, immoveable. It wore off a few days later. 10 days on 18mg I upped my dose again to 25mg. Two days crash again and it got better. But this time something is different, I cannot eat anymore, thinking about eating makes me nauseous. But I still try to eat as much as I can, noticing my clothes are looser and I feel not so bad about my body image issues but the cost of this was that I'm tired and I'm cranky. I also fully lost the ability to sleep.

Side note about sleep : I love sleep. I have slept very much to regulate my emotions. I took pride in being able to fall asleep in a market even. I slept everyday almost 12-16 hours everyday in my tenth grade. I sleep through breakups, I nap after coming back home from work if its between 3-5pm. I have never failed at sleeping.

But here I was, laying in bed for hours thinking about absolutely useless stuff like - what might happen if I clicked somewhere or what ingredient I want to experience next. Nothing to lose sleep over but I was. I'd sleep once in 2-3 days but I knew sleep was vital so I'd just lay corpse-like on the bed. And fully experiencing my thoughts for hours on end. I also tried to meditate before sleep, it worked a few times and not really on most nights. I tried to work when I couldn't sleep so I pushed my sleep time and at one point I just slept during the day making my life worse.

I didn't bring this up to my psychiatrist, I didn't want to stop taking this drug. I didn't want to believe this wasn't a miracle that I needed. I will white-knuckle through this sleep. I'm sure I'll come up with something.

I also slowly realised my brain was all over the place in the morning until I took the medication, that is how I had to be reminded to take this drug

10 more days pass on 25mg, 40mg time. We're in the big leagues now and after this its 60mg and thats it. More crashing, the dose up after effects were really bad this time and a day into it, I had a bad meltdown, I was hanging out with a friend and I got so overwhelmed - I went fully non verbal, I had to go into my room, shut out all the daylight with my blackout curtains. My friend knew what was happening and brought me my sound cancellation headphones. I laid down for quite sometime and just stay put. I'd experienced meltdowns before, rarely ever in front of another person. I was scared. I still hadn't accepted my austim diagnosis, this made it real. Made me think about the only other time I've gone fully non verbal and had a meltdown around another person. I've never let my mask slip, never in noisy classrooms, not before speeches or debates and never ever in relationships and absolutely never in front of anyone I know.

My sensory overload is flowing without a gateway. I'm sad and cranky and I cannot journal anymore, I want to cry. How has this happened.

Things get worse, I hear my neighbours' air vents more loudly, I can hear their conversations, when I do fall asleep, my neighbours' reels sounds take over my dreams. I wake up and consider for the 87th time if I should go down and tell them to keep it down.

Everything hit a new low when I got hit with food poisoning, my stomach hurt a lot, my temperature wouldn't go down and I end up in the ER for gastroenteritis. For almost the 4th time in 2 years. I texted my psychiatrist and stopped taking the meds for a two days. She writes me the lower dose for 25mg and 36mg. She also wrote me some medication for sleep. Dayvigo (lemborexant), that drug was magic, I took the medication and fell asleep before I hit the pillow. It was almost too scary how well it worked. But I was too scared to use it everyday, what if I couldn't wake up and my house was on fire?

My food poisoning got better. I started taking the meds again. Lack of appetite and sleep is really hard. But I keep going. It works right? right? right?

I refuse to look at myself, everything is too scary and everything feels bad. I also do not think anyone has ever been attractive. Weird - have I always been this asexual?

We keep going. Meltdowns get worse but I'm working, I'm moving, I'm going viral sometimes on twitter.

And then one day in my severe lack of sleep or having fed myself I realise that I cannot do this anymore, because I cannot even focus. That's when I realise I've lost the plot.

Scheduled an appointment to let my doctor know I humanly couldn't do this anymore and I was giving up. She suggested I try other medications and I knew I just wanted to stop and get some sleep. So I stopped taking it, she said there was no need to wean off. And I didn't wean off, I went from 36mg of atomoxetine to nothing, waves of electric pulses going up my spine, lots of disassociation and just generally hoping for the best. At this point all I wanted was for my hunger to come back. I missed food tasting good. That's all I wanted.

My focus is back to somewhat normal (pre meds and burnout, not the 8 hour lock-in but still), I'm not locked in as I used to be but I am regulated more, I can eat and I'm all over the place as I used to be. I'll be ok. But I'm not as exhausted and focus-less like I was before the meds.I wake up and feel like doing things now.

I only beg that I never experience autistic burnout again.

Strattera/atomoxetine has worked wonders for some people and this is just my experience of it. Please see a doctor if you need help.

I'm thankful that I had enough will power to go see a doctor and get the help I need. In this process I got a diagnosis, I have a doctor I can trust and it changed me and opened up new neural pathways to deal with this better next time. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. Even though some of it was hell, I saw myself being someone new and that is totally worth it to me.