Turning 27

some thoughts and feelings

Jun 12, 2026

Yes happy birthday to me. Santa turns 27 and I am feeling enraged max pro. What a dreadful year to be a very very adult age of 27.

1. Really not enjoying hearing AI stuff. I love my job so much. I love doing design. I love having the human eye that allows me to understand what other human eyes look for when looking at things. I love having experience in the world that allows me to know what people find enjoyable. I love making people happy with making things that make their life easier. I would do this for no other reason other than its so fun and its been a hyperfixation against my will in the past decade to be obsessed with computers. I hope I continue making things. Hopefully getting paid while doing so.

2. I live in one of the most beautiful houses I have ever seen in my life. It truly is a pleasure to be in, its so big and pretty and beautiful trees out here that attract the cutest lil birds. It's getting demolished and I have to leave in 2 months. Finding this out on my birthday really does hurt. This house has an avocado tree in its balcony for god's sake. I get free fucking avocados here! Like what am I supposed to do. I am heartbroken, I am sure I'll find a beautiful house and figure everything out but my god I need to buy a fucking house. I can't be uprooting my life all the time like this. I don't like change. And a big change like this is gonna cost my nervous system. I really need to start sorting things and making a plan.

3. Unemployment is busting my ass and I don't think I enjoy not making money. Money allows me to indulge in hobbies. Bring joy to people and best of all it allows me to dream. It allows someone like me who's only taken flights 4 times in their life to think I could go to japan. It allows me to think I can make a temperature tracker electronic keychain for shits and giggles. It allows me to make my own decisions and not paralyzed by the fear of what my parents think. It allows me to think I don't have to pretend to be straight. This is enraging and hard

4. I think I'm depressed. My cake is not as enjoyable as it used to be. Mood dip is very real.

5. I need a strategy to cope with summer sensory issues or it will be very hard to convince my brain life is worth living next summer

6. I like adulthood, I would like to keep things that make me an adult ; i.e independence to make my own decisions (like cutting my own hair a few days ago) and stepping into a bathroom and knowing it will be dry every single time because I live alone

7. Rewearing braces in adulthood made me realise how irrevocably cute I am, even braces does not affect my cuteness. Made me realise when I wore braces as a kid, I was still hella cute.

8. I like being on my own. I be doing things I be entertained I be making myself happy 9. Next year, hope I do some math, cartography and playing the piano.

Amen,
hope I make it to next year

PS : I'm kidding I know I will, nothing can take me down. I'm a rock, if you hit me you'll be in pain. Santa out.